It will rain today—must find my rain shovel.
We live on a speck of sand between the Atlantic ocean and Caribbean oceans called Puerto Rico. Why Puerto Rico? I am constantly asked about this, and my answer tends to be along the lines of “Why not?”
For one thing, while many of you are shivering in the cold wind and shoveling snow—we are shoveling rain. There also is an impressive number of doctors, hospitals, and dentists. This island is like NYC without the rudeness, and those who know what they’re about can buy just about anything. That includes top-notch plastic surgery.
Recently, I had my abdominal fat vacuumed off by Dr. Rafael Cuoto. That is where I tend to get fat. In fact, most of us do. This is because when we were in packs running away from the Sabertooth tiger, we needed a place to store fat and energy: The belly. This is so prevalent in my family, that we have named it the Gloor Belly, after my mothers’ family, who had this malady in abundance.
Nowadays, there are no more Sabertooth tigers about, but there are many, many stressors. Need I list them? A written list may look like this: Covid, unemployment, bad bosses, shortages at the supermarkets, and of course, spousal arguments about money, and that gigantic stress for many of us, the children.
Where does the fat land? For my family, it is the belly. Your family may prefer to make direct deposits to the hips and thighs. All of these areas can be sculpted with liposuction.
I was on the surgical table for four hours. This is a lengthy time, but Dr. Cuoto had to steer around an ocean of scar tissue. Anyone who has had surgery has scar tissue. Many years ago, I dealt with The Gloor Belly with a tummy tuck. Some lipo came with that gratis.
Then, after having an adverse reaction from the antibiotic Clindamycin, I went back to the same doctor and had some more liposuction. “I never got so much fat off of a skinny girl!” he crowed.
Here is the dirty secret about antibiotics—you won’t know if you are allergic until something bad happens. My “ something bad,” was a seven-month period of torture of the disease Clostridioides difficile, lovingly called C-Diff by we healthcare workers. Trust me, you do not want this; unless you desire an unending fountain of liquid feces that resembles Niagra Falls. I was hospitalized due to dehydration caused by C-Diff, and one sneeze left my room floor covered. Completely.
So, make sure that you pause before taking any antibiotic that you have not had before. At present pharmaceutical companies are not investing enough time and money in antibiotics. More profit can be made on cancer and cardiac medications, so that is where the big bucks go.
At present, I am wearing the mother of all corsets to further flatten my belly. It is not quite even, so my surgeon ordered me a type of massage called lymphatic drainage. My first experience was extremely painful; so the owner of the spa matched me with a kindler and gentler practitioner, so I am good to go. Brenda, my new massage therapist had her way with me the other day. I did feel what she did, albeit without pain, so I rebooked another session this week.
She is knowledgeable and does not make me feel like I am going through childbirth at the ridiculous age of 70.
The lymphatic system is like Rodney Dangerfield, in that it gets no respect. It produces a clear liquid that is the basis of your blood’s plasma. It also produces nifty little items that keep one healthy: Lymphocytes, which are integral to the immune system. B cells are derived from the bone marrow. One that I love the sound of is Killer T cells. This is like having Arnold Schwartzenegger in your bloodstream.
Those T cells come from the Thymus, a gland located near the heart, which is the size of a deck of cards during childhood. This shrinks a bit with adulthood, and I am betting that the older you get the smaller it gets; so, senior citizens most likely have a miniature version.
Hence, many seniors get sick more and so may need supplementation with extra vitamin C, zinc, and magnesium. I wonder when the “Golden Age,” kicks in? Oro Edad in Spanish. Still waiting, but so far I see copper and a bit of silver. Perhaps my lymphatic system will kick in with some life-changing goodies. That would be golden for this oldie.
Lymph nodes are present in many areas of the body. These nodes are like sentry men in an army; they look for broken cells and take them in for destruction. Think of a highway of broken-down cars; that may delay important traffic. The spleen, located on the left side of the abdomen, has been referred to as a large lymph node by some academicians.
The lymphatic system makes the immune system viable. Any disruption to that system risks disease. Most likely you have heard of lymphoma and Hotchin’s disease. Some lymphomas are purely cancer of the lymphatic system and are referred to as Non-Hotchin’s Lymphoma. Hotchin’s is easier to treat than non-Hotchin’s, but if given the choice, I would opt for zero lymphatic cancer. In fact, zero any kind of cancer. I am so lucky that the major killer in my family tree is cardiac. (Well, one must die of something!)
Both are cancers of the lymphatic system, but Hotchin’s is more treatable. There are many types of lymphomas, and if given the choice, I prefer to have none of them. So do you.
But, if you are having liposuction, a lymphatic drainage massage is for you. In fact, several drainage massages are for you. These massages help drain excess fluid, and in turn, will deliver a better all-around result.
Most people looking at me would never believe that I am a candidate for liposuction. But, they have not seen me naked. I am betting that they have not seen you naked either unless you live near a topless or nude beach.
In Puerto Rico, I am but a stone’s through from Martinique, St Maarten, and other venues that are nude-beach reliable.
We do not countenance that sort of behavior here in Puerto Rico, as it is a predominately Catholic territory. But we are a cruising hub, and in January we are going to one of my favorites, Grenada. When we stopover in St Martin, I have a friendly, accomodating pharmacy, though they can be found in Puerto Rico as well.
Still, to get to the French islands one has to fly, and for some unfathomable reason, these flights are not senior citizen-friendly—that is to say, their rates are a bit high.
Then again, I just paid for absolutely terrific liposuction, so what are a few more kopecks? Nada!
Available at all the usual places. I am also available to answer your plastic and cosmetic surgery questions.
I am reasonable, but not free. I can advise you and let you know what would best serve you. I do not work for any particular physician, but I know how to find the best.
If interested: DonnaRNWriter@Yahoo. com.