Oye Muchachas! How and Why does Kimberly Guilfoyle always get the best man?
Oh, I forgot to mention that they are all rich and powerful.
Well, if I am going to have a man at all, may as well snare a rich one. This is my reasoning: If you have to put up with these Martians, get some really groovy perks. You know, the shoes, clothes, jewelry, and makeup that we Venus ladies require.
I happened to have found a professional as a husband; then again, a few years into our marriage, after I popped out kid number 2, I got a nursing degree. So, I am a professional too!
That and $4.50 will get me a coffee at MoreBucks, mostly known and advertised as Starbucks. I shall let you be the proper judge of my nickname. Coffee is the elixir of life. Pair it with Trader Joe’s chocolate, the food of the gods, and you just may get somewhere sweetheart.
Mother always said, “You can fall in love with a rich man just the same as with a poor man.” She is long gone, but I know for a fact that she had both kinds in her life.
But, this is what my mom, who passed in 2006, did not know: Does Kimberly Guilfoyle have a secret spice? Does she wait until the guy is out of the room and put it in his coffee? Or, even in his beer or Jack Daniels?
Because whatever that stuff is, I wanna buy it; I also want you to buy it. Maybe, but not until I have secured my guy. As I am in the 36th year of my marriage, this should be just a part-time guy (with money.)
As a consolation prize to my dear hubby, I have authorized a full love session with his favorite Victoria’s Secret model, Adriana Lima. When we were in Buenos Aires, we happened upon a shoot with Adriana.
She is the ultimate professional and from what I saw that day, she also possesses a kind and generous spirit. Recognizing my husband, she gave him a great smile and shook her hips in his direction.
So how did she get to know my husband, who, as far as I knew, worked eighty hours a week as a senior manager for Ernst & Young’s actuarial division? An actuary is a dude or dude-ess that really knows numbers. I only know 20% off. I take 10% and double it—so there! I also do well with 30% off. It’s the higher numbers that I get snagged on. Luckily, a calculator is on my smart phone.
No, I believe Adriana recognized him due to the fact that the husband and I sometimes got into a tug of war over that catalog. “I get it first!” he declared. Unless I was on the ball and rescued the mail late in the afternoon, he would grab it when he got home.
Adriana Lima in 2019 (photo from Glenn Francis.) She just sold her Miami residence for $40 million. Must tell the husband! This is his chance for loads of mulah!
Often, I would be refereeing fights between his children while trying vainly to get dinner on the table. Oh, they were my children too; except when they were bad when they morphed into “his’’ children.
I used to buy a fair amount from Victoria’s. I never noticed her in that magazine, but Kimberly Guilfoyle did model in Victoria’s Bridal magazine. She was also married to California governor Gavin Newsom from 2000-2006.
Hardly waiting for the divorce ink to dry, She married Eric Vallency in Barbados in 2006. The pair had a son, Ronan, who lives with Kimberly. I took a peek at Mr. Vallency on a webpage called Married/Biography. Mr. Vallency was, and hopefully still is, one hot dude. He is also a moneyed entrepreneur.
Guilfoyle is worth, some sources suggest, anywhere between 7 and 20 million. So, you now know how much I want her secret spice.
As the late, great Anna Nicole Smith once said, “It’’s expensive being me.”
My case to a T. But some sources say that Guilfoyle is only worth $7 million. Ok, I really think I could work with that. Kimberly darling, I want to party with you!